Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Yo, so I got a message on my TikTok, a person that I went to high school with. I haven't seen or talked to them in 30 plus years.
They've been watching DL podcast, and their words to me were, I've never been a person of faith, but I'm searching and your podcast is helping me.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: Oh, that's amazing.
[00:00:32] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:00:32] Speaker D: That's. That's phenomenal.
[00:00:34] Speaker B: That's.
[00:00:34] Speaker C: That's what we want to hear.
[00:00:35] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:00:36] Speaker A: It makes me realize that. That a lot more people than we know or think are watching.
[00:00:43] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:00:44] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:00:44] Speaker A: Being reached us and being reached. And I was so thrilled. I. I later contacted. Contacted that person and we're going to hook up for coffee soon. And I said, I'd like to share my faith with you. Is that okay? And they said, y. Yes, that would be great. That's awesome.
[00:00:59] Speaker B: It's awesome.
[00:01:00] Speaker C: Cover life, right?
[00:01:01] Speaker A: Awesome. Let's start the show.
[00:01:38] Speaker B: Welcome back to the Discover Life podcast. I am your host, Minister Louis Acevedo. It's so good to be back with you all. And today we're going to be diving into a super great topic in our Flourish and Thrive series about relationships. Relationships. So joining me, as always, are my dear friends, Deacon Eliud.
[00:02:00] Speaker D: How you doing out there? Glad to be here. Back.
[00:02:02] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. Pastor Axel.
[00:02:04] Speaker C: Hey. Good to be back.
[00:02:08] Speaker A: I wasn't sure for a minute that.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: I was waiting for it. And we have the bishop.
[00:02:12] Speaker A: Hey, everybody. Happy to be with you today. This is going to be a good one. Make sure you share it. Let your friends know the DL podcast is on live right now.
[00:02:22] Speaker B: We live.
[00:02:22] Speaker D: It is great to be here with everyone. Relationships are at the heart of God's design for us, and we're excited to explore how they contribute to our flourishing.
[00:02:33] Speaker C: Yes. It's definitely been a series that has really touched many areas in our lives, our spiritual life, our vocational life, and our relationship life. I mean, it's really been really good. And I think a lot of people are seeing flourish and thrive in so many areas that they haven't seen before. And this is really. I mean, I've been hearing people just saying, I didn't know I can flourish in this area.
[00:03:04] Speaker A: Because people go to church to flourish in their spirit life, in their spiritual life. And that's certainly the core, that's the foundation. But we really, we believe that scripture talks about flourishing and thriving in every area of your life.
[00:03:17] Speaker D: We want them to flourish in their gifts. God's got gifts for them so that they can flourish. Not just in church, but you can Use your gifts outside to spread the gospel.
[00:03:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:26] Speaker A: Let's not forget that Jesus commands us. We're called to love one another as he has loved us. You know, and let's not forget that Jesus commands US In John 13:34, we're called to love one another as he has loved us. That's the love that transforms. What we told the church when it comes to this is we're not supposed to receive the love of God and then love the way we love.
[00:03:50] Speaker C: Right.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: We're supposed to receive the love of God and then love the way he loves us. That's the love that transforms.
[00:03:57] Speaker B: Yeah, that's really good. But before we dive in, why don't we start with a prayer?
[00:04:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:01] Speaker B: All right. Father God, we bless you and we thank you for this time in your presence. We thank you for this conversation we get to have amongst each other, but also, Lord God, with our online community. We just pray, Father God, that as we dive into what it is to flourish and thrive in relationships, that you would give a revelation, inspiration, Lord God, incline someone into your way of doing it so that we could do it the right way. So, Lord, we bless you and we thank you for this time. We pray in Jesus name. Amen.
[00:04:27] Speaker D: Amen.
[00:04:28] Speaker B: So today we're discussing three main points about flourishing in relationships. And the first one is this. Loving others as Christ loved us.
[00:04:39] Speaker D: You know, if we look in the book of John 13, Jesus sets a powerful example of love. It's not just a feeling. It's absolutely humility, sacrifice, and commitment.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, the thing I love about that is if we point it back to Jesus and I think about loving the way that Jesus loves, it's hard. It almost feels impossible because to love like Jesus means to be fully poured out. Before he died, he did not let himself leave the earth until he was fully, completely poured out. Literally every ounce, every ounce, every, every bit that he had left. And but what I love about that is it means we should always be striving to love in that way. Right. It's not necessarily attainable, but it is through Christ. And if we use his example to others through our humility, through our. I mean, he stepped down from heaven, sometimes even ourselves, just in the success that we have in life, sometimes we forget to just step down from where we are for a minute and remind ourselves of our humble beginnings and to serve others.
[00:05:39] Speaker D: So I think sometimes we get caught up with loving ourselves more.
The love we give is not the love Jesus gives us. He's always going to be there for you. We'll fail in our love. Yeah, but with his love, we can exceed and go further on if we take on his love.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: Coming to church, reading the Word, getting to know God through Jesus and through the Holy Spirit. That kind of love should impress us in such a way that that's the love we give forward. I told the story on last Sunday that I would tell my wife that I love her. And she told me one time, stop loving me the way you love me because your love hurts. Yeah, that was 15 years ago. But I realized that my way of loving was hurting her. And I had to rediscover what love meant.
[00:06:26] Speaker C: Through Jesus Christ's love really teaches us to go deeper in a deeper connection. It's not just that love that we know. It's that unconditional love.
[00:06:39] Speaker A: That's what you get when you love, when you're loved by God. And that's the love you get when you have God's love.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: By the way, we can take a pause there, too, because deeper connections means deeper intimacy, means deeper vulnerability. It's hard to build connections because of what is required, which is going deeper. And sometimes that means that your story needs to be told. The ugly parts, the good parts, the parts that you want to keep to yourself. Building relationship. It actually flourishes as you go deeper. Because when that intimacy is broken into and you can actually see into someone, you might understand why they're the way they are. You might understand why sometimes they're harsh, or sometimes they're, you know, crude, or those different things. And you'll learn to forgive and love through those things because there's intimacy built.
[00:07:26] Speaker A: We have a bunch of biblical examples, but, you know. But we have a guy that recently passed away at vida. His name was Tony Mendez. And at the end of someone's life, you can sum it up while you're living. We're not summing up our lives. We're busy living our lives. But now that Tony is gone, we can look back at his life and, wow, what a lesson. Or what lessons we can learn from the life of Tony Mendez.
Specifically how he was such an encourager.
He just in the way that Jesus and the disciples, the way they taught us to encourage, especially the Apostle Paul that told us specifically encourage one another. That's one of the strongest lessons that I got of looking at Tony's life. What an encourager. And I told everybody his last thing. The last thing he said to me was, bishop, I believe in your vision. Those were his last words to me.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: Yeah, that's good. He. He last Summer, for Jeremiah's birthday, my son, him and Jess were invited. But my favorite part is they. Because they live far, it's just easier for them to kind of come sooner. And so even though we weren't ready, he showed up, and he's still in a suit from church, and it's 94 degrees outside, and he's like, well, what do you need done? And his way of serving it made it easy to want to serve with them. He was just like, all right, cool. What do you need? So do you want to put the volleyball in that? And he grabs the volleyball then. And not only does he help with that same heart, but he also teaches with that heart as he helps. It's funny because he's slap. He's like hitting the watermelon, and he's like, let me show you how I chose the right one. Let me show you the sound that you gotta hear. Anytime that you go, you're looking for this sound, right? And if you don't get it, just don't even buy the watermelon. And so then he's cutting it open. He's looking for bowls now.
[00:09:26] Speaker D: He's got his sleeves rolled up, his jacket's on, right?
[00:09:30] Speaker A: And then.
[00:09:30] Speaker B: And my favorite part is when everybody's eating, they're like, this is the best watermelon I've ever had.
It was already in there, right? But watching. Just watching him serve, he never found a reason not to. He always found a reason to.
[00:09:43] Speaker D: He was. I had a great time with him. Just. He was putting in my radio, and he's teaching me sound, and he's like, look. Look how it sounds like this. Look at how sounds like that, you know? And I. I was just learning. I'm like, yo, he's right. Because I'm like, you. You're amazing. He's amazing at what he does.
[00:09:58] Speaker A: Amazing.
He was. All the time.
[00:10:02] Speaker D: Yeah, he was very inspirational, you know? He was. And he always loved to help. He was humble.
[00:10:09] Speaker A: I got a text from Janelle, his stepdaughter. Just simple text today. I can't believe how much I miss Tony. It's just, you know, but that's the kind of effect you want to have on people when you love like Jesus and Tony love like Jesus. That's the effect. That's. That's when you know you're going to be missed.
[00:10:31] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: Yeah. And, you know, I'll tell you, Tony. Tony was just a great. A great reminder to us and will continue to be. I got Tony in my head all week this week. So he's going to continue to be a great reminder of what it is to be humble in relationships, to love others like Christ did.
So let's talk to our listeners. How can our listeners be more present in their communities? How can they do that? So moving on to our second point, which is building community.
[00:11:01] Speaker D: Genesis tells us that it's not good for man to be alone.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:11:05] Speaker D: We were designed for community. And it's these spaces that we can truly thrive in. You know, community helps us to get to know other people. Community helps us to become closer, to get to know people's story. God didn't create us to be alone.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: It makes me think of what God was. What I wonder what God witnessed. Right? And I'm sure the way the Bible is told to us, we're told so that we can hear a narrative story of how God did things. So. So God wanted the writer most believe was Moses.
For him to know that there was a moment where he saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone. And I'll never know the mind of God, but something must have happened. He must have saw something. Because up until that moment, it was okay.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: Adam was naming animals. He was busy. He was doing the work he was created to do. But the Bible says. But. But when they were looking for a mate for him, each animal had its own parent. And he was. He didn't have. None was found suitable to him.
[00:12:13] Speaker C: Adam is looking at the animals and he's like, all right, hold on. You got lion with his partner. And he's like, what happened to me? When I first heard that verse that Deacon just told us, it was explained to me it had to do with marriage. You know, man, it's not good for man to be alone. And for a long time, that's the concept I had. That was the interpretation I had.
[00:12:45] Speaker A: It's not a bad concept, you know.
[00:12:47] Speaker C: Which is part of it. But it's bigger than that.
It's a wider picture that God is looking at. And when I understood that, it fills so many gaps in my life knowing that God designed us to be in community, to be in relationships. And one of the things that I went and thanks to you, Bishop John 17:23, it's been. It's a pastor's group and been doing it for a few years now. And it's really. It's been life changing. I mean, you saw me at the beginning, I wasn't opening much. You know, I was like, you were checking everybody out.
[00:13:29] Speaker A: Yeah. You were listening to every Story.
[00:13:32] Speaker C: I was enjoying every story, but I wasn't opening up and telling, you know, these people what's going on. And every time it was my turn, like, everything's good.
God is good, you know, and. And those were my words. But as time went by, I realized that this. This was a safe place, you know, it was a safe place to open up and to say, hey, I'm struggling with this. This week, you know, hasn't been the best week. And just sharing ministry, family, I mean, everything.
[00:14:07] Speaker A: And.
[00:14:07] Speaker C: And it's been really uplifting. And. And I, you know, I thank you for it.
[00:14:12] Speaker D: And.
[00:14:13] Speaker C: And all the other pastors are in.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: It and thank God for that community that we still enjoy. We're still a part of that group. We just met last weekend, and one of the guys is struggling, and. And. And we're talking about loving in community, existing in community. It's not good for man to be alone. And sometimes when you're a person of faith and a leader, you. You may not have a lot of people that might be able to relate to your specific problems or journey or feelings or whatever or even how. How God is doing things. You may not understand what God is doing. And so having the John 17:23 group, which we absolutely love and big shout out to the Barnabas ministry that runs that, we're just grateful to have that because we understand that we exist better when we're in a community.
[00:15:05] Speaker D: Absolutely, absolutely. So that you don't feel alone. Like, I think that we all take that approach that you did. You get around people and you're afraid to share. And I think it's just that you just want to get to know who's around you. You want to hear stories. Say, wait a minute. Oh, wait. Their story's kind of like my story.
[00:15:22] Speaker B: This week. I met with somebody and we had breakfast, and we were talking. And one of the things we talk about, especially in leadership, is how sometimes people only see our best hand. Right. And he goes, I was thinking about that guy from Scary Movie, you know, the guy with the bad. With the bad hand. He goes. He goes. He says, you know, as. As a leader, I. I have a bad hand as well. In life, everybody does. There's a good hand is a bad hand. And he was talking about a specific moment in his life where, because no one necessarily knew what was going on, God showed him. This could be an opportunity to either just continue to show the good hand.
[00:15:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:59] Speaker B: Or you can put that out there as well and let people love you through that part. And what Pastor Axel is saying, I think, is exactly the same.
He learned to get comfortable in community, to finally let out that bad hand, let it be viewed. And then to your surprise, instead of it being judged, it was actually protected. It was covered, and it was lifted. And I think that some of our viewers may think that at a leadership level, we don't come to church on a Sunday morning mad sometimes, or we don't show up, you know, to a meeting and go, this is the last place I want to be right now. Right. But there's. There's. It happens here, too, but because there's community, maybe that's the thing you're lacking. Maybe the thing you're lacking is that you don't have somebody to air it to us when we get that chance. I could just pick up the phone, be like, yo, Bishop. Yeah, let me just throw this at you real quick. All right, cool. I'm ready to worship. Right. And it just takes that quick minute.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: This point can't be, you know, stated strong enough. In order to really thrive in relationships, you have to embrace community.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: We have to. Yeah. So let's challenge ourselves to support and sharpen one another. How can we commit to this kind of community? Part three, Finding healing and growth through relational challenges. Yeah, that's a tough one. That's a really tough one. Overcoming challenges in relationships. How do we do this?
[00:17:29] Speaker D: The challenges are supposed to help you to be better. So when you mess up, don't look at it as something that's bad. Look at it as, okay, I messed up, but I know how to fix it. I want to change it. I don't want to do that again. I want to grow, and I take the challenge on as you hitting a speed bump and now smoothing the road out, you know, in your life.
[00:17:54] Speaker A: My wife and I had over the 27 years of marriage, we've had two real moments where we talked about divorce in 27 years of marriage and talk about, you know, finding healing and growing through relationship challenges when things were the worst and I thought it was over and I wanted just to die.
I look back now that. That the issues have been dealt with and that we've got some distance from those things. I look back now and go, oh, my God. I don't think my relationship would be as strong as it is now without that, if that hadn't happened. And I'm not saying I'm glad it happened, but I wish we hadn't heard each other the way we. We have. But I can see the value in how we were able to grow during These challenges. And I don't think it's just marriages that go through that. We've had moments, right? We've all had moments that have challenged us. And choosing to stay, choosing to work through it is how you grow in a relationship.
[00:19:08] Speaker C: I don't know what you're talking about.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Is this the Barnabas?
[00:19:16] Speaker C: Loving others always comes with risk.
[00:19:19] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:19:20] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:19:21] Speaker C: God takes a risk. A risk loving us. He's the first one that takes a risk to love us and he still does it. He knows that we're going to fail and he still loves us. He's the all knowing God and he knows every time we fail and he still chooses us to love. So people that are listening are probably on relationships or are no longer in relationships because they feel like if they love they're gonna get hurt.
[00:19:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:56] Speaker C: And there is no way to go around it. You know, that's the part. It's like we can't say, hey, relationships are gonna be perfect. They're not.
[00:20:05] Speaker A: There's no guarantee.
[00:20:06] Speaker C: There's always a risk in it. And that's the part where we need God to help us through it because without it, we can't, we can't love anybody.
[00:20:15] Speaker D: His love gets us through.
[00:20:16] Speaker A: And so I think that what we don't do well is handle challenges in relationships. Most people have a moment where they can either stay in the relationship or quit. And when it gets hard, let's be honest, it's easier to quit.
It's easier to quit. It's easier to just say, you know what, I'm not going to talk to him anymore. Or you know what, I'm not going to go to that at school anymore. Or you know what, I'm not going to be in this tech thread anymore. Or you know what, I'm going to quit this church. You know what I'm going to do. And it's easier just to say I'm out. But. But what you miss if you give up the fight, it could be more valuable than the peace that you're looking for.
[00:21:00] Speaker B: P.S. the value could also be in what you lost, but after the conversations.
[00:21:07] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: You know, sometimes we quit too soon and we don't realize that the growth is actually in the conversations, not necessarily the specific relationship. And we have to take the time to have those conversations because it will bring health to your next relationships. Every conversation you don't have eliminates a new relationship you could have.
[00:21:28] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: And so we have to be very careful to be so quick to withdraw and go you know, this thing isn't working. Listen, I've left the job. I've left, you know, relationships because there are some necessary endings.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:21:40] Speaker B: But most of the time we forfeit what God can do by not allowing him the time to work through the relationship, through our conversations, especially the really.
[00:21:51] Speaker C: The really tough ones, especially when misunderstanding arises.
We have a choice to walk away or to seek reconciliation.
[00:22:02] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:03] Speaker C: And that's what we're called for.
[00:22:05] Speaker A: We're ministers of reconciliation.
[00:22:07] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:22:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:08] Speaker A: That's what we're called to be.
[00:22:09] Speaker C: And that's what we should always seek. We should always seek to reconcile. We should always seek to restore that relationship. Because like minister was saying, that's what growth is. That's what maturity is. That's. That's where you see what God sees.
[00:22:26] Speaker A: I shared on, on Sunday that. That Jesus shares two stories. He shares the story of the lost sheep.
[00:22:33] Speaker C: I love that he shared the story.
[00:22:36] Speaker A: Of the lost sheep. And in that story, the shepherd secures the 99 and goes and looks for the lost sheep. And he finds it, pulls it out, brings it back. Then he also shares another story of the prodigal son. The prodigal son said, I want my inheritance. I'm done with you. I'm leaving. I'm gone. And in this story, the father doesn't chase the son like the shepherd chases the sheep because the sheep got lost. The sun went away purposefully.
[00:23:09] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:23:09] Speaker A: And, and, and so we tried to present the, the, the option. Here Jesus is telling us, if something is lost, go after it. If someone walks away from you, wait, wait, they may come back. And your job is to keep your. Keep that place of their secure.
[00:23:29] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:23:30] Speaker A: He never gave away his spot. He was the father that was waiting for his son. And, and the end that when the son finally returns, he sees him and he runs toward his son because he was always looking at the road where my son might come back. So two powerful stories. One that's lost, one that goes away and how you deal with.
[00:23:51] Speaker D: And in that story, he doesn't give up. He's waiting. He's waiting. There's a difference when you have to go after and when you're waiting. Sometimes we get impatient and we can't wait. But waiting bring back his son and he his joy. He was overwhelmed with joy and love.
[00:24:09] Speaker A: You, you listen. Imagine. Imagine, Pastor, imagine if the father had gone after him. What do you think the son would have said? If he was partying with his friends and he was drunk and his father comes.
[00:24:22] Speaker D: Yep.
[00:24:23] Speaker A: Dad, what are you doing here?
[00:24:24] Speaker B: Yeah. You're gonna leave the house already?
[00:24:26] Speaker D: Didn't I leave so good.
[00:24:29] Speaker C: The father would have been hurt more, and he would have stopped the process that he was going through.
[00:24:37] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:24:37] Speaker C: There are toxic relationships that we need to let go of.
There's a story in the Bible that always reminds me about this. When God told Samuel.
[00:24:50] Speaker A: Why are you crying?
[00:24:51] Speaker D: Come on now. Right, Preach. Come on now.
[00:24:55] Speaker C: God said, let him go.
[00:24:57] Speaker A: He said, why are you. You still crying?
Why are you still crying for Saul, man.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: Either way, in those two stories, either way, there was a need for perseverance. We can't throw that away. You know, the father had to wait. You have to persevere in waiting, too.
[00:25:16] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:25:16] Speaker B: This desperation of knowing my child has left me seemingly on bad terms, and I don't know what the heck is going on out there. Like, no parent feels good about that. And to persevere enough to not chase, but allow God. Trust God with the process and say, you will guide him back in his time. Train up a child in the ways of the Lord, and he will never depart from it. You know, it's true. By persevering through the difficulties, we can deepen our connection. So here's the conclusion, right? As we wrap up, let's remember that flourishing in relationships means embodying the love of Christ that he has shown us. Amen.
[00:25:55] Speaker D: Yeah. Here are some practical steps for this week. First, prioritize forgiveness and reconciliation. Here's what I want to say. Forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is about you let it go and you'll find freedom.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: Yeah. They say that unforgiveness is like. Is like drinking poison and waiting for that person to die.
[00:26:20] Speaker B: It's not good.
[00:26:22] Speaker D: It's toxic. You only hurt yourself. You're only gonna. You're gonna be more angry, you're gonna suffer, and you're gonna get sick, Guaranteed.
[00:26:31] Speaker A: Yeah. So what we want you to do is prioritize forgiveness.
[00:26:35] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:26:36] Speaker A: Forgiveness leads to reconciliation.
[00:26:38] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:26:38] Speaker B: That's so good.
[00:26:39] Speaker C: Second thing I think we should encourage people is to take some time this week and uplift someone. You know how healing that is, how powerful that is for you to take some time and just go to somebody and just uplift that person. It could be a co worker, it could be a friend, it could be a family member.
[00:27:00] Speaker A: It could be a pastor.
[00:27:01] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:27:02] Speaker B: Yes, that's right.
[00:27:03] Speaker A: Yes, that's right.
[00:27:04] Speaker C: Just uplift someone this week and you'll see the power in it.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: And lastly, we want you to commit to a community.
People at our church are strongly urged to join what we call life group.
They're just groups that we're meeting right now. It's the men, women, youth. We're all getting together and we're sharing. We're all learning together. And it is this idea that iron sharpens iron. Don't be afraid of the iron.
Let the iron sharpen you. Don't run away from it. So we want you to be involved.
Consider that small group. Consider that fellowship this week.
[00:27:42] Speaker C: So good.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: Listen, these are wonderful insights that we learned today that we discussed today. And we just hope that you guys are inspired to really live out a Christ centered life with Christ centered relationships. We thank you for joining us and tuning in on the Discover Life podcast. Listen until next time. Keep flourishing and thriving in all areas of your life. We're praying for you. We love you and we're glad that you are here with us.
[00:28:08] Speaker D: What do you got to say? And remember, please subscribe, share and like, that's right. We want this for everyone to get the message. Until the next time, we see you later.
[00:28:24] Speaker B: Hey, what's going on, everybody? The Discover Life hoodies are in.
[00:28:28] Speaker C: All right, the hoodies are in.
[00:28:29] Speaker D: Hey everybody, the hoodies are in. You can have one of these just like me.
[00:28:34] Speaker B: If you want one, just click on the link in the description. You can have your very own sweater. Just order today and it's coming your way.
